The same old mistakes.

 ( Thanks to Thingsshelove)

The same old mistakes i make during CO time and now, really can be unforgiveable.
I thought i will improve as the time goes by, but it seems to be untrue then.
Okay, this mistakes i made has drove my CO instructor ( Last time) to keep on repeating the bar for the sake of me and i pulled everybody down.

** Note that it's last time.
I admit my Zhongruan skills is damn lousy ( Duh, is like.... quite sucky) although i'm the most senior there at that time.
I was sitting at the 4th place i believe the outer ones are the good and inner ones are the bad.
But i work harder than anyone else ( Except for Jessie and me.) and i still can't got it right.
I will always damn remember what Mr Teo ( my CO conductor) to me, " 你在弹的时候，你的手指很像是螃蟹的手" meaning Your fingers look like Crab when playing. ( ZZZZZ....)
Then i remember i try to change my way of playing by not putting the fingers so high up but you can't help it, Everybody seems to be doing the 'crab style way' to me -.-
Okay, i feel so ashamed that although i'm the most senior there(i joined earlier than all of my juniors DUH and also Peishan and Valarie.) , my skills sucks like hell and damn, i feel so useless now i look back.
Although in Zhongruan section, me and Jessie are the most committed to CO ( No offence, but sometimes some zhongruan player seems so reluctant and not passion enough.), but i still feel so .....
I bring home that stupid big zhongruan home like everyday when there's CO practice or what, and try to practice alot but it seems to be no effect -.-
Okay, no point looking back.

I haven't say the main point yet, i sucks at rhythm seriously.
ESP the On-beat and Off-beat, cos' i was playing the tenor part of the CO, sometimes support the bass section like Cello,Da Ruan and Double bass , there's so many on-beat and off-beat -.-
I need to listen to others then followed them, cos' my mind is simply 'CANNOT COUNT' like that -.-
At least now, i'm better but still, on-off beat sucks -.-

Yesterday night, i was there trying to figure out by keep on clapping then sing the part out ( i know i'm very lame) since i can't sleep plus my sister isn't home yet. ( Damn envy her cos' she go to the CONCERT! SHINee! )
But look like, it's failed, although i succeeded sometimes, but then playing and singing out like very different -.-

Well, now i really damn look back, regretted everything.
If i just stay on to Er-hu, i might just be better and stay there, but if i didn't pon the the CO, i will never ever touch Ruan, cos' when i joined, they have no place for ruan recruitment since it's full and all those are SENIORS. So, i feel so out when i joined but it's better than there's no CCA -.- (but i didn't pon at that time le.)
okay, really no point saying these actually, it's over.
If i can turn back, i want to insisted joining ruan and played in SYF' 06 ( Rulang CO got Bronze -.- )
But too bad, this world don't have time machine.
and Seriously speaking, when i was sec one, before i joined band, i wish time could turn back, i do well for PSLE and go into Fuhua and join CO, but then now, i don't ever think of that anymore, cos' band has influcenced my life -.- whether it's a small or big influcence. (So i'm damn glad that Huayi has no CO cos' if i keep on stay in CO, i will never ever listen to band and classical music.)

Dot dot dot, but i'm still damn sad about my weakness point.
No matter how i'm going to count, my mind can't get right seriously.
Sigh~~~

End here then.

I always believe there will be a reap and when you sow but it seems untrue.
My past has proved to me, and one of reluctant zhongruan player, although she didn't really practice much, but she's damn good -.- Genius in her head and she's in first class DUH. 
Okay, maybe i'm not really fit to the interest i love.