Goal.

Goal in my life:
After like being disconnected from the world for like quite 2 days almost. (except twitter know where am i)
I just realised, for things (everything i guess) to be done perfectly and satisfied yourself, what we need to have is the techniques/strategies, concentration and most importantly - our own heart, whether we want it anot.
Maybe that's why, i still failed.



Though i love music, i don't have the concentration etc nowadays, maybe cos being demoralised by my own tone colour and quality.
But again, thinking back, i have been hesitated in taking up this path of life towards the future, the unsure-ness of my own heart makes me if think first before i tell myself: can i really do this? can i?
First, i'm afraid of disappointing my parents, truthfully speaking. I know they have been a considerate parents of giving me spaces and still give me the freedom of what i love to do even though they dislike what i'm doing now.
Secondly, i myself actually think that even if i take music as a career, how will it be? though this is what i want, what i love to do, but i myself, i'm doubting myself whether i can do it anot. It's like you better do it and be the best if not you will failed badly.
Thirdly, even though i once say i don't care what other people think of me or my actions, i still care. Esp my siblings, they are like keep on demoralising me much, and sometimes i really think i cannot do it.

Sigh, things are getting harder, and i have also decide on what i want to do beside music.
Maybe working in studio is not bad, or maybe i should take up other skills etc.
But i know i myself i can't ever do those sciences jobs.

In the first place, i have no aims and i just see what i can do whenever things goes wrong.
Maybe, no planning at first is a wrong starting.
Maybe, right now, i'm too tired and saying some rubbish stuffs. (is really physically tired, note here.)
shall go sleep :)
So in the end, i have not even mention one thing about my personal goal.

Anyway, some things i want to accomplish after O level (mind you, that's next year -.-), or even during the period from this year to next year.
- Buy clarinet accessories~, mouthpiece and ligature.
- Work after O level for the sake of my own pocket money and clarinet!
- Lose weight to hmm... 43kg? at least get rid of my fats in stomach LOLLL~ (so i can grow taller)
- Improve on my tone quality and able to at least modify my reed better. (i think cos i always modify until so suckish that's why :X)
- Relearn music theory, seriously by 2 months. (like those theory from grade 1-4/5~!)
- more things which i can't think of it now.

I post too much 'life' posts nowadays.