Why now, it's starting to become a burden?
Not that i don't like music anymore (of course!!!!!) but, sometimes everything just make you so down that u just feel like you can't do this anymore.
Demoralised, feel why am i such a letdown, feel that the things i do would screwed up.
I spend so much time on it, i tried to balance time with friends and work, but in the end, it's just work. (maybe abit of friends yeah.)
I guess all musicians come to this stage whereby you can't do anything, and just want to be quiet and get out of this place.
Wait no, i'm not a musician yet, not completely...
and i feel so sad when people leave, when people are no longer there, when the people in your life suddenly disappeared.
and sometimes, i just feel so alone. I used to be okay with it, i tot i could just live with it and continue to do what i love to do.
Mixed emotions.
I used to believe, as long as i work hard, i could get what i want.
But it's more than that, in the darkness, whereby you can even see which direction you're going.
I lied to myself that it's okay, but actually it's not.
I want to be strong, but why am i so weak.
Maybe because i didn't sleep alot.
Shall sleep, i promised myself to prove to them, the ones that look down on me for choosing this path, the ones that mock at me, the ones that has doubts on me.
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