Season

recently, maybe it's cos of clique, i realised sometimes it's good to have someone to be with you…. not that i'm really finding someone (just no special feeling towards anyone yet…) but well, sometimes you find yourself alone, it's feel so sad. Even for one who is used to being alone (like me), still it feels so sad… and not say lonely, okay wait maybe i should say just feel that i'm the only one that is still single haha. 

and i question myself about sexuality actually, okay truthfully, i admire girls too and of course guys, good-looking people in general lah HAHAH. so yeah, is this consider bi-sexual? LOL 

but sometimes, i feel more comfortable talking to girls than guys, though i have guys in clique, but they're different (since know each other so long…) as compared to normal guys, maybe cos' of my english (lol…) or maybe just no topic to talk (LOL), i feel a bit awkward lah. sometimes, i'm bad at continuing conversation and starting a topic… lol

But somehow i feel, this kind of feeling is so good to compose a song/ lyrics haha. recently, wrote so many emotional lyrics, but i doubt i will use it… but anyway, write more… maybe there's some uses.

Well, sometimes people who look happy outside, contented with everything are usually most unhappy person inside. not say i'm unhappy, but just feel a bit of something missing etc.

i know life is too short to be unhappy, but that feeling keep on lingers, there's nothing i could do about it.

But i know i love what i'm learning, and maybe cos' i listen to a lot of sad music or blues, like eva cassidy 's , eric calpton 's , it makes me feel emotional. and with recent obsession of Shape of my heart by sting, it make it worse.  

so yeah, i'm still finding answer and i hope i could find an answer to my question one day. 

Just do whatever i love, when my time comes, i guess it will come :)